Comedian Erin Conroy: What A Week

Comedian Erin Conroy

Thursday, August 06, 2009

What A Week

I cannot wait for this week to be over. Not just because my bestie Melissa is coming into NYC for the weekend, but also because it has just been a monster of a week. The one bright spot was the Mets game I attended with some friends on Tuesday. It was a highlight because we had beer and hot dogs and fun, NOT because of the Mets. They stink on ice.

We were sitting in the "Promenade" section at the new Shea Stadium (F- off, Citibank), which is a fancy name for the nosebleeds. You can still see almost the entire field, so they're not bad seats at all. However we were fairly certain that the altitude was getting to us, because the most ridiculous things were appearing hilarious to us. For example, there was an advertisement over center field for a Planter's Peanuts "Nut Bar". I think I blacked out I was laughing so hard.

Also, we were surrounded by a group of fiercely outspoken preteen boys. These young-uns were hollering important advice ("David Wright! Hit a home run!!") as well as ego-shattering taunts ("Throw the ball, don't scratch your balls!"). I felt like we were one poorly-organized chant away from total chaos.

You know who else made me feel old this week? The kid from Best Buy who helped me buy a mouse yesterday. I told him what kind of computer I had, and that I was having some trouble connecting to the internet*, and he nearly threw up all over me with disgust. "Lady! You've gotta UPGRADE! That computer is so oooold. You need to upgrade, seriously Lady. I can't believe you even wanna buy a new mouse for it, it's so old!"...etc. etc. I just stood there, eyes narrowed and imagining what it would be like to murder him and steal his youth to better stymie the crippling effects of age. I don't think I've ever been seriously called "Lady" in my entire life. It's worse than "maam" in my opinion, because it carries with it some very outdated and Southern connotations. Like this Best Buy rep thought I should be in a rocking chair on a porch somewhere talking about my preferred sweet tea recipe and saying "I do declare!" every time a young passerby didn't lift his hat when he walked by.

What's that? Why yes, I do get most of my stereotypes from cartoons.

* Yeah- when I have internet troubles, my first thought is "it must be the mouse". That's how computer-savvy I am. Shut up and eat your sloppy joe.


At 7:36 AM, Blogger Sara said...

Thank you for the Tuesday morning-I'm dreading the department meeting, laugh. This post is awesome!


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