Ahahahaha, You Suck

I stepped into the elevator at my office building this afternoon next to some random dude. The doors began to close, and then some other dude comes running up and decides that our elevator may be the last elevator he will ever have the opportunity to ride, and he is obviously distressed. He lunges towards us and swings his lunch bag in between the closing doors - and Eureka! The doors close almost completely, but his lunch triggered the motion sensor or whatever, and they opened back up, granting this genius entrance. Huzzah! He had bested the machine!!

Then he remembered that he got soup for lunch - and that said soup was not packaged in a steel thermos of any kind. He looked down slowly to confirm that the container had indeed exploded when thrust between the elevator doors, and that he was presently covering the elevator floor with split pea soup. He said, and I quote:

"Probably not my best idea..."

Sometimes Mondays aren't so bad.