Comedian Erin Conroy: Finally

Comedian Erin Conroy

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


It had to be done eventually, my friend Ryan and I are just mad that we weren't the ones to do it. Please do enjoy.

So I was at the Dave Matthews Band concert at Madison Square Garden last night, and it's becoming increasingly obvious that I don't fit in at Dave Matthews Band concerts. First of all - the smell of weed turns my stomach. It just does. I'm a pansy that way - but I've only ever smoked 3 times in my life,and each time was a bit of a disaster. 2 of those times resulted in me throwing up, and the last time resulted in my freaking out at a Northern Virginia IHOP and then sleeping for 13 hours. I guess it's just not for me. (Or else I'm an uber-square. Take your pick)

So of course within the first 5 minutes after Dave Matthews appeared onstage the entirety of the Garden was encased in a thick cloud of smoke and - more alarmingly - hippies. Everywhere I looked there were people dancing in the aisles to some rhythm that didn't match up with the song, and there was a girl seated behind us who had a crown on her head. A crown. How did that happen? Was she about to head out the door to head to the concert when she stopped and thought, "I'm almost more accessory should do it..." Moron.

Dave Matthews also tends to "jam" a lot. They'll finish their song, or what I know their song to be, but that won't be the end. They'll continue playing for another 10-20 minutes. And everyone except me loves it. I'm impatient - I don't want to hear you play the same 5 chords on your guitar while you sway in front of the saxophonist who is in turn just tooting away in front of the drummer who is just banging away with a big smile on his face. I get the feeling that none of them really know what's going on, and so they just keep playing until one of them remembers that they've been playing the same melody for 16 minutes and that maybe they should pick a new song. That's right, DMB - I'm on to you.

It would probably help if I was high.


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