I Don't Feel So Great

I'm back from vacation, and the first person waiting to greet me was a cold. No - that's a lie. I think said cold was with me before I even left Florida, courtesy of my little brother. He spent the last 3 days or so coughing up phlegm and having headaches and being generally disagreeable. I spent those same 3 days mocking him relentlessly. Now I fear that my hubris has proven to be my downfall. Because I feel all achy and shit.

Vacation was wonderful - we relaxed, watched movies, drank alcohol and wandered around my Mom's little beach town. Always a good time. We headed to the airport at West Palm Beach Monday morning around 9:45am to fly back home. Suffice it to say - I landed in at JFK at 9:05pm that night, and my sister and brother arrived in Buffalo at midnight. It was an unspeakably long day - and it's days like that that I always swear that I will not stand for this anymore!!!

In retrospect, it's kind of hilarious. I get so agitated that my flight isn't on time, or that they change my gate, or that the a-hole kid behind me won't stop kicking my chair; that I make loud and outrageous declarations like, "I will burn this place to the GROUND if that guy doesn't get in line like the rest of us" and "I won't fly anymore. This is ridiculous. I will take the train EVERYWHERE. Overseas? I will take a boat. Hell - I'll buy a boat and sail it myself. And I'll sail other people for a minimal fee. And I'll provide sandwiches. Honest to God sandwiches. No, I will not calm down, Shannon! YOU CALM DOWN!! Fine. You just talked yourself out of a spot on my boat. You can swim to Wales for all I care."

So now I am home and I am sick. I have things to do this week, and I fear they may all be cleared off the schedule to make room for laying in bed and whining softly while watching only 80s sitcom reruns and their comfortably predictable 20 minute plotlines. Anyone care to join?

I submitted material to 2 comedy festivals so far this year. One is a lost cause but I wanted to try anyhoo, and the other - we'll see!