Root Beer Barrels

They're delicious. And as American as apple pie! They've been around for decades I assume, and everyone from the kids to Grandma and Grandpa can agree - they're the most!!!

Here's another fun fact about Root Beer Barrels that I may or may not have made up: they so completely represent everything that is decent and wholesome about America, that Joseph McCarthy used them as a sort of "Patriot Divining Rod" during the 50s. He would offer a suspected Commie a delectable Root Beer Barrel, and if they refused his generous offer, well Sir, any and all doubts would be gone. And so would the offending person - to jail, or Russia or wherever they sent Communists back then. I didn't really have time to look into it.

I tried to impress all of these tru-isms and more on my friend Sylvia when she rudely rebuffed my offer of a Root Beer Barrel this very American day!! But alas and alack, she left my company sans scrumptious candy.

Next time you see her you should tell her how delicious Root Beer Barrels are. Or - never mind, you won't be able to. Because she'll never work in this town again.

I made some calls.