Comedian Erin Conroy: Liviiiiing Siiingle (oooh in a 90s kind of world, I'm glad I got my girls!....)

Comedian Erin Conroy

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Liviiiiing Siiingle (oooh in a 90s kind of world, I'm glad I got my girls!....)

As I wrote about in a previous blog, sometimes it's less than spectacular living alone. Not often, mind you - but sometimes. Like when you're smack in the middle of a "Designing Women" marathon, and there's no one around who can run to the corner store and get you an Orange Bud Bar. Oh man that sucks. Or when you need someone to keep watch as you're trying to discreetly empty all the beer cans and liquor bottles you've left too long into the communal garbage/recycling closet. It's much easier to continue living in your apartment building when your neighbors don't think you're a fall-down drunk with a penchant for dark rum and weeping softly.

Another time it's good to have someone else in your apartment is when minor repairs need to be made. Because two heads are better than one, and an extra set of hands could have been held up to stop me from entering the bathroom with the idea that I would caulk the bathtub myself, thank you very much.

Two nights ago, the batteries in my carbon monoxide detector died around 4am. (They never die during the day, do they? DO THEY?!?!) This resulted in that blood-curdling and shrill beep to sound out every 30 seconds, alerting me to both the battery situation and my heretofore unknown fear of carbon monoxide alarms.

After an unecessarily long struggle to get the alarm open and the batteries out - which was periodically broken up by both my cursing the inventor of these alert systems and my collapsing on the floor to wail about the terrible hand in life I had been dealt (it was all very dramatic) - I got three new AAs and crammed them in. At which point the alarm started beeping in long and loud sequences of three with only a 2 second break in between. I don't know what I did; whether I pressed Test/Reset the first time but not the second time, whether I pressed it 2 times when you only need to press it once, or whether I had angered mighty Podaga while tending to my fields.

Long story short, I have removed all the batteries from the detector so as to get some peace and quiet. However, the whole experience (which lasted maybe 4 minutes total) has me completely on edge in my apartment. I keep waiting for the detector to go off again, as I rock back and forth on the floor...almost willing it to happen as I slowly go mad. It's pretty much exactly like "The Raven" except more intense and also I'm drinking a lot of dark rum.


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