(sigh)

I should have known it would be Tim who thought of a topic first. And I should have been equally confident that said topic would be Manchester United. Crimony. Here goes:

I don't know jack about soccer. Or football, as it's called everywhere else in the world. I do know that when I've worked with the Irish in the past, I've been mercilessly mocked for my pronunciation of the word "soccer". (Anne-Marie, I'm looking at you) It's not my fault, my Buffalo accent comes out loud and clear on some words more than others. You should hear me whine "Oh my God" when drunk. I'm like an extra in "Fargo".

Manchester United - aren't they like the NY Yankees of the Premier League? Like, they buy the best team and win a lot and everyone hates them? I think I heard that somewhere.

When my Mom and my sister and I were traveling through the UK and Ireland, Shannon and I got it into our heads that we wanted to go to a football match. I've never been, and it is something I'd like to experience - if for no other reason than to witness a football brawl firsthand. Because thanks to movies and TV shows, I assume there's at least one knock-down drag-out fight per game. Anyone ever see that documentary "Green Street Hooligans"? Exactly.

So Manchester United wins a lot, right? And didn't Beckham play for them? Which would explain why you see so many of their jerseys over here. The kids love Beckham - with their little faux-hawks, and utter obliviousness to the fact that soccer will get them nowhere in this country. You think you're better than me, kid? You're not better than me - I placed in the WNY All-Catholic Badminton Championships in high school. Oh no, wait - that's why EVERYONE is better than me.

The End.