In Maryland We Roll Hard

That is a shout-out for Mikey. Mikey-you roll harder than any mother fucker I know, and STILL make it into work on time the next morning. You should be studied.

The show last night was a resounding success. If you can describe a resounding success as 9 comics and 11 audience members. And drunk waitstaff AND people in the audience who were not afraid to voice their opinions rather loudly during everyone's set. "Woooooo!!! I LOVE tacos! One time I ATE tacos! YEAH!" Ryan Conner dealt with one rather adeptly: "What do you, have a checklist or something? Well what do you need to cross off before you shut the fuck up?!?" I tip my hat to you, Good Sir.

I am working on a joke about drunk bitches. Let's see where it goes.

I will be embarking on that most glorious of excursions this weekend: the Maryland Renaissance Festival! Why? Because it's Pirate Weekend, they have macaroni & cheese on a stick and I can get drunk and throw pointy metal weapons. I think I will also get my fortune told. Last time I went, the little fat man who read the runes for me told me that I will switch careers and meet the man of my dreams, who most likely will be driving a 1973 Gremlin. No idea why he was so specific about the make of car-but you better believe I've been checking out the parking lots of every bowling alley and tattoo parlor I've passed since then. Sometimes you have to make your own destiny.

My bracket has been decided and my fate sealed for the Comedy Kumite Tournament of Champions on October 27th. I'll be going up against the legendary Chris White. A force to be reckoned with, and one of the best flamenco dancers this side of the Mississip'! Check him out here.

My friend Gabe's birthday party is tomorrow night, and I ask you: what do you get the guy who can shove an entire cell phone in his mouth (while ringing) and make a backpack out of a pair of blue jeans?? Wings would be my guess. Because he must be an angel sent from heaven.......