Comedian Erin Conroy: I Made My Bed

Comedian Erin Conroy

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I Made My Bed

So I shall continue to lie in it. The next topic offered up was "the superiority of black cats", from my dear friend Beth. What? I don't know.

Black cats - I don't know what's too "superior" about these unlucky sonsabitches. Although, because of the misfortune that comes attached to black cats, I have witnessed full grown men dance out of their way rather than cross their paths. Which is always humorous.

I suppose we've seen more famous black cats than other colors of cat. That's evidence of their superiority, right? Yeah it is. There was that smart-mouthed black cat on "Sabrina: the Teenage Witch". Remember that show? Even if you don't really remember Melissa Joan Hart and her lazy eye casting spells on the likes of Punky Brewster (college years!), chances are good you kind of remember Salem, the talking cat. I vaguely remember there being a reason there was a talking cat - like he was a powerful warlock once who got imprisoned in the cat's body for some bullshit reason - but who cares? He sat on the counter and made puns and inappropriate sexual advances while his animatronic tail swayed clumsily back and forth. (Sidenote: that previous sentence in it's entirety is what is inscribed on Grover Cleveland's tombstone. I'd like you to prove that it's not.)

There's also the Cat in the Hat - he was a black cat. But you know what? F- that guy. I used to get heartburn as a kid reading that book. This cat comes in, UNINVITED if I remember correctly, to this house with these two unsuspecting kids and proceeds to destroy it. As a child whose OCD was just starting to reveal itself, this movie caused me a lot of stress. Every mess he made nagged at my subconscious, even as he pranced onto the next. I don't care if in the end he made everything ship-shape again, it's the principle of the thing. That's how you thank those kids for letting you in out of the rain? I'd hate to see how he repays a loan. (arson)

Also, thanks to Google I found these Black Cats. And they seem cool too.


At 6:48 AM, Blogger Beth said...

I give it a B-


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