Corned Beef and Seething Hostilities

It's been a while since I blogged. What of it? Have you really missed my nonsensical diatribes and obsession with time machines? I know. I know you have. I'm back, Darling. And I'll never leave you again.

Except I'm leaving this weekend. Tonight, actually. I am going home for the annual Buffalo Irish Festival. I think it's something like 18 years that the prestigious Conroy family has been in attendance at whatever field or tented area where the Festival was being held. There's beer, Irish food, whiskey, Irish dancing, beer, Irish music and ice cream sandwiches. It's amazing.

This year we're actually boycotting it. The venue they held it in last year was a disgrace. And we're very easy to please - all the Conroys ask for are picnic tables, ample beer tents, and some guy playing the spoons to a rendition of "Wild Irish Rover". But somehow last year they screwed it all up at the last minute, and the Festival was a big ol' mess.

But I'm still heading home for it in a sense, because my father has decided we'll have our own Irish Festival at his house on the Niagara River. And that'll show 'em. That'll show 'em all. We're gonna hang out and drink all damned day, eat potatoes, and listen to Irish CDs. And if my sister gets drunk enough, she may even dance a jig. While I'm shooting at her feet, of course. That's right - a poor man's Buffalo Irish Festival.

In other news: "The Two Coreys" on A&E is my new favorite show. Never has watching 30 minutes of television made me appreciate my life so much. Because hey - at least I'm not Corey Haim.

Everyone take a moment and thank whatever god you believe in that you're not Corey Haim.

In the one episode, Corey's best friend (Really? No, probably not) Corey Feldman had to sit him down and tell him that A.) There was going to be a "Lost Boys 2", and B.) He was not going to be in it. And the tears! Oh mercy, the tears!!! Corey Haim was obviously distressed. So Corey Feldman decided to commiserate with him to help share the pain. And I quote:

"Man, I know. How do you think I felt when they made 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2' without me???"

I don't know, Corey Feldman. I couldn't even begin to know. How did you feel?

Do yourself a favor and try and catch it. It's one of those "pseudo-scripted" shows, and you can tell. But the glimpses of reality make it all worthwhile. And terribly uncomfortable.