Comedian Erin Conroy: Fred Durst Looks Like Sh*t

Comedian Erin Conroy

Friday, September 14, 2007

Fred Durst Looks Like Sh*t

Remember when Fred Durst used to be cool? Like, really cool?!?! Because he was. He was really big from like, 1999 - 2001. Do you remember? I know it's hard, and you probably blocked it out like one of those "bad-touch" memories from summer camp in 1987, but it happened. It was real. Fred Durst was a superstar. Nowadays he spends his time running haters over with his car. But what's important is that he's staying busy.

I have a show in Williamsburg, Brooklyn on Monday evening. 8pm at Soundfix Records on Bedford Avenue, and the show is free. And free is the best kind of price.

The Emmys are on this Sunday night. On a related note, fuck "Grey's Anatomy".

Yesterday evening I was walking to the Subway and having a cigarette when a complete stranger got in my face and told me to quit smoking. Something about, "You're a lovely young lady! Don't smoke those cancer sticks! They'll kill you!!" And then he was gone in a flash - like some fanciful Advice Sprite, dispensing words of wisdom and then frollicking off into the forest.

I really can't stand people who share their unsolicited opinions. And it's bad enough when it's someone you know getting preachy, but a complete stranger? That's flat-out rude. And while I know this random man was sure he was acting in my best interests, I still found him extremely annoying. Instead of getting so annoyed though, I should have returned the favor. I should have tried to save him from himself:

"Excuse me sir! You shouldn't have your hair in a rat-tail! You seem like a nice man, but the rat-tail will guarantee you a life of solitude, save maybe for a fling with a one-legged woman named Gertie! Cut the rat-tail off, before it's too late! Also, see a Doctor about the smell - You smell like you've been soaking in a bathtub full of Skoal and shattered dreams."

Rat-tails are gross.


Post a Comment

<< Home