"How The Shit Did That Happen?"

That's a direct quote from my father, who happened to confuse my older sister and I during this past holiday week, and was extremely disoriented by it.

Christmas week has come and gone, and I have enjoyed another week of mind-numbing alcohol consumption back home in Buffalo. What is it about going home that makes you want to drink until you can't recognize your relatives? (My Dad's defense)

And now we are just 3 short days away from 2007. 2006 has been a transitional year for me, to say the least, and I am looking forward to focusing my concentration on comedy in the next year. Getting on stage as often as possible is the A #1 resolution on my list.

Here are some others:

-Get better at keeping in touch with my friends. I mean, how long does it take to write an e-mail.....or just make a phone call.....or send a quick text....ummm.....I'll talk to you guys in 2008

-Take care of unfinished business between myself and PS 221

-Continue my lonely boycott of "Grey's Anatomy". You won't break me, Dr. McSweaty, or whatever your name is

-Steal the Hope Diamond

-Learn how to play Bridge

-Never mind, Bridge is for a**holes

-Frame Dame Judi Dench for theft of Hope Diamond

-Cure gout

-Never do that again...gross