Comedian Erin Conroy: Scene From A Hateful Elevator

Comedian Erin Conroy

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Scene From A Hateful Elevator

F.G. : Flower Delivery Guy
R.G.: Random Guy
Me: Yours Truly

Scene: An elevator in a building in New York City

(Fade In, as elevator door opens and I enter the cab)

R.G.: But, what did she say?

F.G.: All she said was 'I don't want those. Get them out of here.'

(F.G. motions to large, elaborate bouquet of flowers he is holding and nods to me)

Me: What happened?

R.G.: Wait till you hear this!

F.G.: I went upstairs to deliver this bouquet to a lady up there. When I got there, she made a horrible face at me and told me to take them away. Now I have to take them back to the store. No refund for the guy who bought 'em though.

Me: Ouch.

R.G.: Did you read the card?

F.G.: You think I should? I will....

(F.G. puts down bouquet, reads card attached to it, and whistles softly.)

R.G.: Come on, man. You have to tell us what it says.

F.G.: It says, 'I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.'

(Silence fills the elevator)

F.G.: Dag, that's cold.

Me: No, that's hilarious.

(As the elevator doors open in the lobby, all three go their separate ways, each one laughing at the stranger's misfortune.)



At 11:45 AM, Blogger KittyKat said...

Ha! I had forgotten that. Your hatefulness is why I love you


Post a Comment

<< Home