Comedian Erin Conroy: Seriously

Comedian Erin Conroy

Thursday, May 24, 2007


I don't know why I've been spending so much time worrying about bears. While it's true bears have been spotted in our neighborhoods and above-ground pools at a fairly alarming rate recently; they also tend to climb up a tree and get shot with a tranquilizer before they do any significant damage.

Not monkeys/apes/gorillas though. I mentioned an article about an escaped gorilla in a Dutch zoo in my last entry. And then today, this:

Tell me that's not one of the scariest things you could have lumbering towards you.
Simians. This girl's vote for the #1 terror threat right now. Hide your bananas and children.

Lately there seems to be a marked increase (at least among my friends and loved ones) in interest in both pirates and zombies. Now, this could be attributed to the films "28 Weeks Later" and "Pirates of the Caribbean"; or everyone I associate with could just be really into plundering and eating brains. Whatever the reason, I refuse to get swept up in the craze. Personally, I don't find zombies or pirates terribly interesting.

What do I find interesting? Sasquatch. Where's he been at lately? I could stand to see more of him. Also stories about grifter kids making good, like this one. And shows that promise the World's most "amazing", "terrifying" or "dangerous" videos.

In fact...Good God. I may have just accidentally created the formula for the perfect TV show: An 11-year old con man is living his dangerous life on the streets, when one day he tries to swindle Bigfoot in a game of Three Card Monty. Bigfoot is angry at first, but then the two form an unlikely friendship. They join forces and succeed in cornering the "shock video" market; thanks in no small part to Bigfoot's willingness to maul innocent passerby. After 3 or 4 seasons, one of them will die in a tragic motorcycle accident that the other was filming for the Incredible Motorcycle Jumps and Yeti Attacks installment in their video series, and the series will end to critical acclaim. The End.

Come on. ABC is broadcasting an hour-long Bingo show on Friday nights. Greenlight this shit.


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