Back To Reality

Wasn't that a song? A really popular song from like, the late 80s or early 90s? "Back to liiiiife...back to reality". Well-if it wasn't, then I have just identified myself as a colossal dork.

But I am back in DC after a lovely 5 days in Florida with my mother and sister. It always amazes me-going to visit my Mom. She lives in this gated condominium community, where the average age is 73, and no one wears their socks below their kneecaps. My Mom, in her early 50s, is a terrifying young whippersnapper in comparison. Though it is a little scary to realize that every time I go visit my Mom, dinnertime gets earlier and earlier. Like eating earlier is the one way she has decided to acclimate herself. We went to this little seafood place the one night, and Mom handed me the Early-Bird special menu. I promptly punched her in the nose and reminded her that she didn't have a bridge game to run off to or an irritable bowel system. I think she's learned her lesson.

What else did I do in Florida, besides wail on my mother and get drunk every night? Well, I went to the beach. The beach is where modesty goes to die. I tried to shield my eyes from the horrors, but everywhere I turned I saw another ill-fitted swimsuit or wrinkly ass crack. I promptly got drunk again.

Now I am back in sunny DC, where the weather makes me want to cut myself and my apartment is in need of divine intervention so that it can appear somewhat livable again. That means you, Jesus!

I gotta wrap this up. But before I do, a shout-out to my boys in Satellite:

Satellite is made up of Ryan Conner, Justin Schlegel, Danny Rouhier, Jon Mumma, Doug Powell, Rory Scovel and my Baby's Daddy Frank Hong. Funny funny guys. Their first show is tomorrow night, and I hear it's already sold out! And if you don't catch them tomorrow night, you should definitely try and see them soon. Because even though they look funny, and can't seem to get the concept of "personal space", and not one of them has mastered the art of breathing through his nose, and I think at least two of them have started their share of fires-they're still funny mother fuckers.

God Bless.