5-3, Bitches

Yes indeed: 5-3 was the final score of the Rangers/Flyers game last night. And it brings me great joy to inform you that the team that got the 5 goals, was the NY Rangers. That's right-they WON their season opener.

Yeah...I cried........so what?

Moving on-

Have you seen the Family Guy DVD movie yet? Wow-go see it if you haven't. Buy it, rent it, "borrow it from a friend" like I did, watch through the window while your neighbor is enjoying it-I will advocate whatever it takes for you to see this movie. Why? Because while it is enjoyable throughout-you're gonna wanna watch it for one scene involving this national treasure: Wilford Brimley. I know. He's beautiful.

Speaking of beautiful things, go here and get all your holiday shopping done in one fell swoop. I mean, oh my God. And the pun was most certainly intended. Enjoy!

Should I even reference the deluge of celebrity news we seem to be experiencing? That Katie Holmes is pregnant with an infertile and homosexual man's child? That MENSA member Jessica Simpson might be divorcing her already canonized husband Nick Lachey? That some guy in a van ran into Lindsay Lohan's car and didn't kill her?!?!?!?!

No-I think the most important news story of the day is this one. Seriously-it's a sad state of affairs when a girl can't enjoy discarded cigarette butts from the dirty ground anymore, without being labelled a "shrew". Who are you to pass judgement, China? No, shutup-a YOUR face!!

Updates on my performance schedule are forthcoming. So you'll just have to wait a little longer, and put those incriminating negatives back in your pocket. You'll blackmail me soon enough...