Retarculous

Retarculous is my new favorite word. It is a hybrid of the two words "retarded" and "ridiculous", and I can use it to explain pretty much everything in my life.

"How's your job, Erin?" "It's retarculous."

"How's the family, Erin?" "They're retarculous."

"Why won't you submit to a lie detector test, Erin?" "Because these accusations are retarculous. You got nothin' on me, Pig."

And so on. I'd be lying though if I said I made up this magnificent word all by my lonesome. No-I must give credit where credit is due, and tip my hat to Drew. Drew....something. I forget his last name. It's not important. What is important, is that he has a website and a book that I recently purchased, both titled, "Toothpaste for Dinner". Awesome. You should check them out. Things like this make me laugh out loud.

COMEDY KUMITE TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS!!! IT APPROACHES!!!!

Are you tired of comedy shows lacking in giant hamster wheels and ever-swinging medicine balls?!? Do you crave dry wit with a side of paint-balling gone horribly wrong?!? Do you have vivid and arousing dreams of running onstage and clothes-lining a hapless prop comic?!? If you answered yes to any of the previous questions-then this show is for you. Or else this Valium is-and you should really take it easy, Buddy.

Thursday, October 27th at 8pm. At the Comedy Spot, in the Ballston Common Mall. Watch as former champions of past Kumite competitions meet onstage for a fight to the finish. Or until the 9:15pm showing of Wallace & Gromit starts at the movie theatre next door. Either way-you are guaranteed bloodshed!!!....Because none of the competitors are very graceful and 3 have inner ear infections-so it's pretty much a lock that someone will fall down on their way to the stage. Yes......isn't that what you paid for???

$5 at the door gets you some of the funniest comics in the DC area. And access to delicious grape sodas. So some on down!! Take the Orange Line to the Ballston Metro stop and you're like, 2 blocks away from the Mall. For real. AND there's a Ruby Tuesday's RIGHT THERE. Can I get a "chili cheese fries"?! Yes. Yes I can.

For further details and information that delves into the psyche of every contestant, check this out.

And now I'm off. I need some coffee so bad it's retarculous.