Can Chocolate Just Let Me Finish?

I spent a significant amount of time in Queens this past weekend. And I gotta tell you...that borough's alright.

Went out in Astoria with Kat on Friday night, and had my first ever mojito. It was good and all, but not something I'll be rushing to try again. Those mint leaves get all soggy and then they shoot up your straw and the next thing you know you're choking on mint leaves. I don't want to choke on my drinks. I want to choke on my words. And maybe someday shoot my eye out with my innuendo.

My apartment is spotless (acceptable) for the arrival this evening of my friend Chris. I met Chris last year on a cruise to Alaska I took with my sister. There were maybe 6 people on the boat under the age of 40, and we all found each other and got shitty for 7 days. Also, there were killer whales.

So Chris just got a job that moves him from Orange County, CA to the Big Apple. Just ask 2-Pac or Biggie, and they'll tell you that the East Coast and the West Coast have their differences. So I am gonna do my best to help him acclimate to his new life in the Big City:

Tonight- Two words: cock fight

Tomorrow- A visit to NBC Studios...and a brick through the window on account of 'America's Got Talent'

Thursday- Ice cream at Tasti-D-Lite

Friday- An arrogant and condescending evening of spoken word in the Village, followed by a trip to the Lincoln Tunnel...(wink wink)...for hookers....(smoooooooth)

Saturday- Breakfast in lockdown. Man, those Vice Squad cops run fast....


On the comedy front: I have 2 shows this week. Count 'em! Bored on Saturday night and find yourself in Times Square? Head to the comedy club at 45th Street and 8th Avenue for the 11pm show and yours truly. If you want more details, just drop me an e-mail: Erin_Conroy99@hotmail.com

Conroy OUT.