Comedian Erin Conroy: The Berenstein Bears and My Imminent Death

Comedian Erin Conroy

Monday, October 23, 2006

The Berenstein Bears and My Imminent Death

So I've been having a lot of dreams about bears lately. All different kinds of bears, and in all different kinds of situations. The one common thread? I'm always getting mauled to death by said bears.

This is either because I've watched the documentary "Grizzly Man" too many times, or because I have recently become clairvoyant, and have the ability to see my own death. Just like the cyclops in the movie "Krull". Yeah, I pulled that reference out.

This weekend, when I wasn't dreaming about bear-related horrors; I was out getting tanked. My friend Mikey was in town, and we all went out Saturday night and again on Sunday. I'm still drunk.

I feel bad for the Mets.

I can't stop fantasizing about scrapping everything in my life right now, and moving to the middle of nowhere and working in a diner. Seriously-some tiny town with a population of 1,000, where people name their guns and the mayor is also the police chief and also the kindergarten teacher. Why this is so appealing to me lately is a mystery.

Maybe it's because I think the bears will have a more difficult time finding me in the Bible belt.


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