Comedian Erin Conroy: No Apples For Oil!!!

Comedian Erin Conroy

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

No Apples For Oil!!!

There is a fruit cart outside of my building on Lexington Avenue. At least 3 times a week, I stop by there to buy an apple for my lunch. I have been doing this for about 5 months-same cart, same time, same apple.

But for some reason, the price is never the same. One day it's $0.35, the next $0.80, the next $0.65. Today it was $0.50.

This pisses me off. What has become of the world we live in, when I can't get an apple for a consistent price anymore?!? For God's sakes, this is America. Our great nation was built on the ideas that all men are created equal, government should be for the people, and that fruit shall not be subject to inexplicable price gouging. (It's in the Bill of Rights.)

After much consideration, and lengthy discussions with the conspiracy theorist bum outside of my building, I have come to the conclusion that this is a direct result of the war in Iraq.

Bring our troops home now!! So no more hard-working Americans have to keep handing their dollars over to fruit vendors with absolutely no idea how much change they'll be getting back.


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