Tryptophan

I just spilled a big blob of that Purell Hand Sanitizer all over my desk. That just happened. I bring you information on my life in real time, peoples. Now I'm drinking coffee. It's like you're right here with me! And seeing as how you're here but not really doing anything, would you mind running to the store and picking me up some animal crackers? I don't know, I just have this intense craving for animal crackers. But get the ones in the red box that looks like a zoo car on the train. Yeah. No, there is a difference between those and other animal crackers, and I can taste it. Don't argue with me. Just go get my crackers. Thaaaaaank you.

I am heading home tonight for Thanksgiving. This is the first Thanksgiving in 8 years or so I'll be back in Buffalo. Gonna surprise a couple of family members by showing up unannounced, getting inexcusably drunk and horrible, threatening everyone with my Krav Maga skills and finally passing out on a pile of coats so no one can leave. Also I'll have chicken wings.

Shows shows shows - I've got 2 next week; on Thursday and Friday. Came you come to either one? Please let me know, as I've got to find out whether or not I have enough peoples for the bringer requirements. Thursday at the Broadway Comedy Club, Friday at StandUp NY. Wooooo! Comedy!!

I heard some huge news a little while ago, and I'd be remiss if I didn't share it: This guy is engaged. Peter Pan, the grown-ass man who wears tights every day and refuses to acknowledge that he is older than 5 years, has found his true love!

It's like a fairy tale come true, literally, as he is Peter Pan and she is Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz/Tinkerbell. And it just goes to show you, there's someone out there for everyone. Even if you wear stirrup pants. Especially if you wear stirrup pants.

Gifts of saddle shoes, magic wands and painkillers can be sent to the Second Star to the Right and Straight On Til Morning.