Who ARE These People?!?

The people who keep fainting in Subway stations and falling on the tracks. Dude, it happens way more often than it should. It just happened again a few weeks ago. That chick got real real lucky, as ANOTHER Subway Superhero jumped down and positioned her in the space between the tracks so the train didn't crush her. And then he just disappeared. He's like Spiderman, but instead of swinging his way through the streets of NYC, his beat is the filthy Subway system. Geez, what did this guy do to get stuck with the subways? Did he sleep with another Superhero's wife, or piss off the Superhero dispatcher? And now he's doomed to listen to awful subway musicians covering Top 40 songs with their drums and to smell every manner of horrible smell for the rest of his days. It ain't right, I tells ya.

Anyhoo - back to Fainty McGee. I understand that sometimes you just can't help it. The guy who fell a couple of years ago had a seizure. OK, not really much he could have done. But hey, everyone else - use some common sense. If you're feeling weak or light-headed, maybe DON'T stand right at the edge of the platform? Maybe take a seat, or at least step 5 feet back so that when you keel over, you won't be keeling over into the path of the train. Crimony!

I don't know why this bothers me so bad. It just does. Come on, dummies! It's like 100 degrees in the subway - take a seat and a drink of water and stay alive. Are these people as careless in every aspect of their lives? Do they also drink a double dose of Nyquil before shaving? Do they wear necklaces of meat when they're feeding their illegal cougars? How did they get that cougar anyways? That's just irresponsible. Cougars don't like 5 story walk-ups. Oh, their cougar does? My mistake.

Haha! That cougar looks alright!

What were we talking about? Bananas? Ah, yes - bananas. The devil's fruit....