Drunk 4-Year Old Steals Christmas

That was the title of this story out of Tennessee. And I don't pretend to know everything about comedy, but that is the single greatest headline I've ever read in my entire life. Also, the little boy was wearing a neighbor's Christmas dress. Awesome. Also, this is a picture of him:

I know, man - the holidays, amirite? Sometimes you just need a beer and some cross-dressing to try and unwind from it all.

Yikes

So my friend Ryan called me at work today to ask my opinion on something he wrote. Ryan and I have been friends for years, and have a few nonsensical jokes that we call back at random times, like "French Fries".

This is my side of the conversation from today, which anyone walking past my cubicle could have overheard:

"What's up French Fries?.....You want me to pick one?.....The morning-after pill.....Yeah, no question. OK, Bye."

Take A Look, It's In A Book...

Once a week, I participate in a program where I go to an NYC public school and read with a student. It's a great thing - you get to foster a desire to read in a young kid and be a sort of mentor to them at the same time. Plus, it's an excuse to read all the books you loved as a kid again. I have been pushing "Pippi Longstocking" and "Bunnicula" on my buddy for quite some time. READ WHAT I READ!!!

Today I showed up in the classroom where we read, and there was a list on an easel left from the class before. The list was of famous people, and they were: Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, Helen Keller, Adolf Hitler and Martin Luther King, Jr.

Ummmm.....what? "One of these things is not like the other, one of these things is not the same...."