Comedian Erin Conroy: October 2009

Comedian Erin Conroy

Monday, October 26, 2009


Halloween is around the corner, and as usual I am scrambling for costume ideas at the last minute. I've been thinking nonstop, and just recently told someone, "Where do you shop? That would be a perfect costume!!!" Which, not surprisingly, they took as an insult. It was actually a compliment, as the character I was thinking of always dressed well. However since this person couldn't read my mind, she was offended and I was left to sputter after her, "Except...noooo! That's soooo good! It's a good thing, not like if I wanted to dress like a Catholic School whore or anything!! Because then you know who'd I'd be asking for clothes ideas! Ha! Right? Am I right??? Because she's a skank!!!"

These are not things I'd recommend yelling after someone who is walking away from you. It makes you look odd.

Friday, October 09, 2009

Checking In

I survived my wisdom tooth extraction, so everyone can breathe easy. But good gravy, you really cannot be prepared for how unpleasant that experience is. It's been a week and I'm still terrified of solid foods and straws. Dry sockets! Dry sockets are worse than murder! Worse than MURDER!!!

What are you doing this long weekend? Are you apple picking upstate? Oh no - that's me. Want me to get you a pumpkin? Or one of those asshole gourds that people give as terrible presents for some reason? God, those things are just awful. Look at 'em:
Seriously, gourds. Thanks for showing up.