The Interwebs Be Crazy

So I've had a "website" for about 5 or 6 years now. I put that in quotations, because if anyone reading this has ever been to my website, they know that it hasn't been updated once since it was created, and there's slim to no information on it. There IS a picture of Darth Vader doing something unclean, but that's about it. I need to stop paying for this website since I do nothing with it, and because I wouldn't know how to if I wanted. So I've been e-mailing the domain provider (I think) and writing in all caps about how I just want to cancel all of it. That'll work, right? Writing things like, "JUST SHUT IT DOWN. SHUT IT ALL DOWN - THANKS LOLZ" should probably get results.

Then I will restart with a new website that I will be able to update and improve upon at my leisure. Excelsior! It will be so great, you don't even KNOW how great it'll be. I mean, I have to be able to figure something out, my friend Tim put together an entire website about his wedding the other day, and I can't be outdone by him. Not this time. Not again.

Oh yeah - a HUGE CONGRATULATIONS goes out to one of my oldest and dearest friends Tim on his engagement to the awesome Lisa!! She's the best, and it was about time he locked that down. Marriage!!

That brings me to 3 weddings this year. Whoa. Marriage. That means within the next 2 years I'll be going to a mess of baby showers, and pushing out-dated toys from my childhood on uncomfortable parents-to-be. "Well, why WOULDN'T your baby like a Popple? One second it's a stuffed animal, and then....BAM! It's a soccer ball!!! Yes, a soccer ball with ears and hands - I don't know, making the Popple into a ball isn't an exact science. But I'll tell you what it IS - fun. A lot of fun. What, is your baby too good? Too good for Popples? Oh really? Well, then your baby is an asshole. Someone had to say it. Good luck with everything - jerks."

The Two Coreys - 1 Corey = :(

If you're one of the maybe 2 people who read this blog regularly, you'll know that I've mentioned the Supernova of awesome that was A&E's "reality" show "The Two Coreys" before. Oh man - the two Coreys together - being emotional and awkward and waaaaay too demanding considering that it was 2007 and they were Coreys. Beautiful.

But now the dream of another season has been destroyed, as we've lost one of our Coreys. Corey Haim passed away yesterday, and I'm pretty sad. I know he hadn't done much lately (lately = the past 15 years), but he was in "The Lost Boys", man. And that movie was the shit.

So farewell, Corey. You're already missed.

Hola

I have written in a while, and I'm sorry about that. Here, please accept this awesome video as my penance:

All better? I thought so.

So I went to Portugal last month - Lisbon, to be more specific. It was awesome and amazing and I have no proof of that to show you, because my sister took all the pictures and she has yet to upload any of them. I'm sorry. Please accept this picture as additional penance for you by me:

Anyhoo - I am getting back into a more regular stand-up schedule to work on my new stuff. Which is great news, because I can only tell jokes about how black guys be dancin' different than white guys at the club so many times before I'm sick of it. Time to move onto jokes about how women love to shop and hate when you leave the toilet seat up! Ha! Lolz!